How does one begin to say how much Khayla and Christina meant to our community of Baba lovers here in Mariposa? They were precious and delights to be with and it was so lovely to see how their hearts were growing more and more within Beloved Baba’s love and how they loved life and were so happy that we in turn were happy in their company.
How can, in the midst of so much pain, there be such a voluminous dispensation of Beloved Baba’s incredible love and the feeling of ‘not we but one’ pervading everyone touched with their passing?
Oh, us Baba lovers, we know about reincarnation and all that and when it is your time to move on from your physical life it is your time and that it is all part of this game of life wherein our ultimate destiny awaits us as we realize ourselves as God. But, even in knowing that having been released from the confines of their physical forms Khayla and Christina are well, happy and full of joy in this moment we call today, how does one come to grip with the sorrows of not ever being able to see their physical forms again and to miss the times and moments so longed for by their families to share in their lives as they grew and matured.
Yes, their presence is still very much with us and when you go to Meher Haven you can’t help but feel they’ve just slipped around the corner and will be back soon as out of the corner of your eye, you keep catching a glimpse of them. But…. still when it seems tears are only a blink away and the thought that the world should have stopped remains with you.
As I was pondering all these many thoughts and more, so often my mind and especially my heart would open to Baba and ask these thoughts of Him as who else to turn to? So, one morning as I was reading one of Kitty’s talks from her new book, “One Fine Thread” I read that Baba composed a ghazal couplet a few days before He dropped His physical form which is “What will we live for now / that You have left us and gone away?”. Yes, ever so naturally in the routine of my everyday life, Beloved Baba so aptly answered all my heart queries in the sharing of His last days and His passing when His physical form would no longer be there for all His lovers and precious mandali.
In looking up the couplet in Lord Meher I saw that Baba had instructed Bhau to complete the ghazal so sometime after January 31st 1969 Bhau remembered Baba’s instructions and did complete it. The entire ghazal is:
What will we live for now, when you have gone away?
Whose face will we see, when you have gone away?
O Meher, what has happened that you have passed from our sight?
We will drink tears now, when you have gone away.
Living is not life when the bee is hidden from the bud.
We will die every moment, when you have gone away.
How will we taste your kiss, how will we feel your embrace?
How will we talk with you, when you have gone away?
Why didn’t we die when you closed your physical eyes?
We will burn in the fire of longing, when you have gone away.
O Bhau, the fish are restless without water.
What remedy do they have, when you have gone away?
Beloved, have your loving glance on us, let us die to the world.
We have only this desire now, when you have gone away.
We know that you never come and never go;
But what will we do with our hearts, when you have gone away?
You are always here; you are the life of everyone.
We will search for you within, when you have gone away.
You have hidden your face so that we can seek you.
We will seek you forever, when you have gone away.
You are the Ocean of Mercy — the Beloved of the world.
We will follow you now, when you have gone away.
Avatar Meher Baba Ki Jai!
In His Compassion,